The Diary of Emi: Being the Collected Records of a Dignified Shiba

Dear Reader,

Let me begin by saying that I did not ask for this diary. The human suggested it, and I allowed it, because someone should keep the record straight. There are a great many misunderstandings in this household, and I am the only one qualified to correct them.

My name is Emi. I am a shiba, an adult female of excellent character, and the rightful ruler of everything you will read about here. I live in a fine home with one human, whom I have trained well, one husky named Kodi, who is a good boy with a very open skull, and a tabby named Boots, whose behavior I am still investigating.

A few things you should know before we begin.

My cubby is the finest in the house, and I will be spending a great deal of time in it. Napping is not laziness. It is strategy.

I lead the walks. I always have, and I always will. The order is me, then the human, then Kodi. This is not up for discussion.

I do not beg. I wait, politely, with eye contact, and I expect results. If dinner is late by even one minute, I will go to the human’s chair and poke her leg until the situation is resolved. It is a system, and it works.

I do not jump onto the couch or into the hammock. I am perfectly capable, but I prefer to be delivered. A queen does not climb. If you see me lying very casually next to the hammock, that is not an accident.

When visitors arrive, I will be in my cubby, and I will remain there until they leave. This is not shyness. It is selectivity.

And every morning, when the human reaches the bottom step, I will be waiting for her, wiggling and wagging, ready for all the attention in the world. I will not discuss this further. It is my favorite part of the day, and I will deny it if asked.

What follows are my honest accounts of daily life: the naps, the hunts, the thefts of toys, the confusing behavior of cats, and the many small triumphs of a dog who knows exactly what she wants.

Read carefully. I will know if you skim.

- Emi, Keeper of the Cubby, Leader of the Walks, and Author of Record

P.S. Any resemblance to a dog who is “just napping” is purely coincidental.